can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize