Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Houston, we have a squirter
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize