I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
