DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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