i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
