FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
