You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
