This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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