It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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