we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
