What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
