We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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