They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
