How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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