She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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