drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize