I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i will never coherently bang her
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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