It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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