It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
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