and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
