Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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