Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
