Welp...herpes.
i think i have herpe
just one?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
