well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
