I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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