after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I had to cum in my sink.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
