dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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