i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Buhtt sex?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
