his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
