...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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