apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
