and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
