"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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