Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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