If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
