thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
as a side note pls kill me
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
