The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
