I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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