only if we run a train.
done.
well you can't waste a boner
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
