She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
