Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

I seem to have left my pride at pride

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot

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(912): View more from Georgia

you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.

(919): View more from North Carolina

That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.

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(850): View more from Florida

I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.

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(239): View more from Florida

I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!

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(740): View more from Ohio

This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.

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(661): View more from California

I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now

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(816): View more from Missouri

We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.

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