whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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