You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
