your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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