But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize