Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
cat food counts as protein by the way
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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