Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Randomize
