the condom got lost in my hair
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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