WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize