office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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