just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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