its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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