If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
