just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You're like the curious george of whores
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
