I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
