i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
