I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
