Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
