im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
